


A Tardis Conversation

by ausmac



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-08
Updated: 2011-05-08
Packaged: 2017-10-19 03:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ausmac/pseuds/ausmac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor has the Master locked up and the Master isn't all that happy about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Tardis Conversation

"Let me out of here!"

"Be quiet."

Bangbangbang…bang. Bangbangbang…bang. "Are you going to let me out?"

"No. shut up."

Bangbangbang…bang. "Let me oooutt!"

"Listen, you bang and shout all you like, you're not getting out."

"Come on, Doctor, be a pal. Let me out." Bangbangbang…bang.

"We are not pals. You are not a pal to anyone. You are a bad person and you are staying in there until you have learned to behave."

"I have, I have learned. I'll behave, promise. Just let me out." Bangbangbang…bang.

"You're lying. You have not learned. You will not behave. Now be quiet, I'm working here."

Silence for ten seconds, blissful silence. Then:

Bangbangbang…bang. "Out, let me out. I'm going insane in here."

"Too late, you're already insane. Shut up."

Bangbangbang…bang. "This is inhumane treatment. You know you want to let me out, right. I'll be good, I will, really. Let me out."

"Ha! You'll try and trick me, tie me up, beat me, abuse me, try to mentally twist me, get little kittens and torture them in front of me. You're staying where you are."

Silence for a few beats. "Well..if you'd like me to do any of those things, I could probably manage them. You just need to let me out."

"I do NOT want you to do any of those things. Whatdaya take me for!"

"I take you for a lovely, lovely person who wouldn't lock a sick man in a little room all by himself. Just let me out and I'll…I'll…be nice to you."

"Ha again! You wouldn't know nice if it bit you on the nose. Now shut up, or I'll…I'll.."

"What? Come in here and point your sonic screwdriver at me! Don't make me laugh! Ha ha, too late, see, that's me laughing here, with a bit of an hysterical edge to it!"

"Master, will you – Oh, why am I even borthering!"

"I know, I know, I'm a high maintenance personality, I so get your problem."

"And you can forget that too, reverse psychology only works for little children, not for sociopathic homicidal maniacs."

"Now, truthfully, I've never considered you a sociopath, Doctor. A little weird maybe, odd tastes in companions…"

"You should talk! Your last one killed you!"

"Yes, moving along. Are you going to let me out! I've seen your wardrobe. We could play dressup. You know you want to. I see me in leather, you in possibly nothing. Thoughts?"

"I'm going to make a cup of tea, and maybe a cup of hemlock for you, and when I get back the only 'nothing' I want to hear is as in nothing, nil, an absence of voice from you, understand?"

"The drums, Doctor, the drums, they're getting very loud."

"And I lost all sympathy with that ploy about the time you turned me into a gnome and put me in a cage. Leaving now."

The Doctor goes to make tea, comes back, and for a while there is, indeed, blessed silence. Until the crying starts.

"Stop that."

*sob*

"Stop it!*

*sob sob*

The Doctor sighs, and stares at the ceiling. I wonder if it would stain my soul if I dumped him outside while we're in flight..

"I heard that!"


End file.
